Morning Dream

There’s a quiet sigh of a woman

a stifled regret of forlorn love

a shrug of her shoulders

And a whisper of fear

a tearful hope

of a lonely future

And a man moans in his sleep

Tossing through the night

On a solitary divan

Unaccompanied in the forest
waiting for a lover to return

A bird sits on a branch

And a flower unfolds gently

And the grass glistens in the dew

And a girl wonders

When will the love come?

And why is the wait so long

Before he appears

And the breeze scatters leaves 

As the boy strums the strings

Of his new guitar

And the woman walks alone

Small dog barks at her

And I awake

a winter dream

I dreamt of summer through the smog of winter

Me and my friends in swarm of merriment

Like mineral clay solidifies to sinter

We turn to quartz in time experiment

Lazy sand snails, vanishing and aging

Through crystal frame of silver hour glass

Hawaiian sunset scattering and blazing

Fades out like nomad hunters in Alsace

Suddenly numb, I topple and fall silent,

Echo of senses follows in my wake

Outside a blizzard gathers over highlands

Treading through aspen trees till I awake

rebirth

Soft darkness wraps its hands around me

Touching my shoulders ever so slightly

I let go of all thought and inhale dry air
rocking myself into slumber

A stroke of wind dishevels my hair

I tremble in surprise and it withdraws 
I sit up and pray in silence, hoping

For something I have yet to know

A stork flies through the night 
Startled, I stare into obscurity
A baby’s cry pierces the air

“A newborn”, I think; “how lovely”

Сон стучится украдкой в окно

Что любовь? Легкий пыл похвалы,
Неведения  нервный припад
Мимолетный прилив новизны
И безделия вольный расклад

Мягко светит сквозь тучи луна
Сон стучится украдкой в окно
Напилась я сегодня вина
И на улице тихо, темно

Поезда не стучат за стеной
Только шорох соседних колес
Потревожит не временный сон
Почерневших замерзших берез

На стекле напечатал мороз
Сообщение тебе от меня
Только ты не пришлешь мне ни проз
Ни Стихов, ни строки за моря

Тихо светит вечерний фонарь
Подкрепившись наивной мечтой
Я засну улыбаясь сквозь даль
Под нелепо счастливой звездой

variation no. 2

Impatient travelers in search for facts will question

Intent behind the nuptials of affection
A fear ran astray or pride gone wild
Could leave a skeptic weeping like a child

Relentless words repeated over time

Could break a pattern of true love's design

Under the wrinkled brow of shifting blame

Heart has no tolerance for ego's flame

But expectations failing, faith will find

Reason prevailing over passion's bind

With every bend of trials and tribulations

Love tames with fortitude the heart’s impatience 

for my love

I love you not as a favorite thing gone lost,

which absence drives me to despair.

I do not miss you when you are gone, but wait for you,

distracting intellect with thrill of new encounters

Not missing you supports my heart with vigor,
drawing a knot around my core to grow with yours.

What's wrong with that?

Your words are filled with angst,

A fear for future crumbling down with time.
I have no dread of age or growing old with you;

I fear myself and idleness of mind in empty night,

A day without work or inspiration.

But thousand nights with you burn mystery 
into my soul with depth of your embrace, 
creating memories that burrow through my being,
Beneath my skin, beneath my eyes, 
Beneath my breath, into my mind, where heart

shall sing a lively song of joy, with every new return.

Fleeting summer

That May, you only sought a lover
That year, I only wished a friend
But when you taught me how to love
Your touch felt like a velvet felt

Your face buried inside my skin
Overwhelmed by smell of raspberries
Love pollinating quickly to take off
Towards the next unopened bud

You slept with frozen smile on your lips
Sting playing on repeat throughout the night
We held on to the fancy of that summer wind
Then I flew north, until my wings turned white

Who knew, you'd always be my ally
Who knew, I’d be your constant fan
A fleeting dream extended years
Into a lifelong summer trance

The history we had invented
The reverie we left behind
By now we might as well be strangers
Yet, we remain good friends through time

A constant star

Where false love fails, variation bends
Twisting with age, eraser to rub out
The ever changing rhyme, a tempest wild
Runs out, breaking man into a child

A patient traveler in search for truth will find
No hindrance stands the nuptials of true mind
The ever thriving star to wanderer forsaken
Love waits unknown, unaltered when awaken

Despite the wrinkled brow, untamed by time
The fate and spirit trail true love’s design
With every hour, time grants love devise
To guide with patience to the end demise

Few painters I knew

Just night and stars

The sky is neatly tiled
Few painters I knew

Who drove me wild

One dark, one blue

Another soft as down

And last one, easily

Could be the only one

You know, I could

I’d play for thee

For your amusement

Lipstick smudged with glee

All’s muted in the night

Paint splattered curves

Words whispered softly

Evening calms my nerves

Delightful for one night

The respite breaks at dawn
The art of eventide
Another morning drawn

And with the rising sun

The canvas sweeps anew

Erasing dreams 

I wish I was like you

Forever free to paint

With thoughts of fire

In different hues

Of madness and desire

Love sings night song

I wait but cannot stay

I must depart with haste

As moon turns into day

I cannot wait, you see

Lipstick as dark as wine

There is no calm for me

Just empty broken time

With smile on my face

I rise before the sun

My fingers gently stroke

The trigger of your gun

Lost memory

Sweet memory I had

A distant foreign song 
I played it in my head
But when I slept, it slipped along 

I searched for it 
It left no trail or sound
I looked and could not trace

Its shadow on the ground

A void inside my head
Will soon be very dead
And yet, I know I'd give my soul
To fill that sad and vacant hole


It is too late to sleep, it is too cold
It is too late to cry, it is too old
It is too soon to rise, it is too dark
And from within a song still burns its mark

Too hard to search again

Don’t want to fall

Don’t want to hope again

If I can’t have it all

Don't want to look or try
But know I will once more

Because by searching
Memory will restore

To Mike

Oy mate,

There’s nothing to undo

With nothing started

Why begin anew?

This world is turning

And all is churning

Careless

Like careless poison seeping through

Intoxicating every view

Like wine, it lit the heart with fire

Fueled by sparks of new desire

Giddy, drunk, and barely sane

Knees are shaking all the same

Buckled under, made me fall

Careless love that conquers all

All the wishes, all the prayers

All was here, so close today

Hours later, turned decay

Flushing acid through our veins

It died so fast, it did not feel

It did not cry and did not kneel

It drowned quickly like a stone

A pain too short to call our own

Wet as the blankets outside

Grief ordered hope to make a cry

A sad goodbye to a lost dream

Gone too quick to hear it scream

Ode to Morrissey

Plodding backwards over memories

Back to the place where I knew you

In the summer town
Filled with laughter and blue

deja vu

It was kind of like night, cold and slow
Except for the sound of melting snow

It was kind of like spring, soft and new
Except for the feeling of déjà vu

Silently threading through a path forgotten by men

Making way among the wild grasses and tree roots

Lost in the fog, with a basket of forest treasures

She grew weary with the passing of morning

And stopped for a picnic in the middle of time

A forest dream

Standing at the edge of a forest clearing

The sound of water dropping 

Deafens down a cliff beneath me

Suddenly a familiar voice 

Emerges from above
Urging calmly:

“Don’t be afraid. Let go.”

Unfaltering, I take off in flight

Soaring high towards the sun

Floating freely above the clouds

Not the wind, nor ashes of the past

Nothing can touch me as I float over the abyss

Hovering above the tree tops and the wild river

The earth paints a gay pattern of timeless squander

As I reach for the sun, my heart begins to thaw out 

Until the moon overtakes the sky cooling off the earth

The river calms and my wits return
While Venus watches with a lightning stare 

Bestowing desire on passing loveliness

The moon snakes down the stairs of time

Shedding silver flakes across the Milky Way

To guide my way towards new stars

Red eyed siren

Disturbed by angry pangs of pain

The eyes of green turned red again

She mourned the lack of proper name

But danced and plodded all the same

Cold morning caught her without grain

As angry wind deflected aim

Unburdened in the tears of shame

Grasshopper siren sang in vain









Painting by Jules-Joseph Lefebvre
The Grasshopper, National Gallery of Victoria, Australia

An Optical Illusion

I've been playing with an idea of a relationship being like an optical illusion one sees when watching a spoke wheel spin or a helicopter propeller turn.  After watching it for a while, the wheel can appear to rotate more slowly than the true rotation. It can also appear stationary or spinning in the opposite direction from the true rotation. This is called the wagon-wheel effect or the reverse rotation effect. 


Here is how it works in my mind:


Today I'll say to you
"Let's make a plight"
Take this propeller for a spin 
An old bird in new flight


See rotors turning in reverse
So slowly now but fast at first 
An optical illusion of a dream
Spokes spinning in a fortune wheel


Watch rivers spreading roads below
While birds and trees are whistling by
As eyes and fingers tremble thrill
Breath escalates the stillness of free will


The air is warm tonight
And fills our heads with buzz
Let's move with feline thirst
And make this evening ours

Old sailor's song

Come to the shore and dock your boat

Take off your shoes, take off your coat

Lend me your ears, sit next to me

I’ll tell you all about the sea

Shadows of blue and aqua green

A million hues remain unseen

Beneath the rumble of the wave

Prepare marine an early grave

Across the ocean’s golden floor
From lonely heart to busy shore
I sailed far I sailed deep

Until my soul began to weep

In silent night before daybreak

I dreamt of women half awake
A young girl’s smile, a golden curl

A silver lace, a sting of pearl

A woman dares to speak true words
While sailor sings along with birds
But in the silence of dark sea

A poet died inside of me

From port to port, from girl to girl

I learned to take and taste them all
Setting my conscience off to float
I sailed and aged inside my boat.

Now I am old and lonely man

My hair is white, my arms are tan

I traded care for treasure gold

Till my heart hardened dead and cold

Come to the shore and dock your boat

Take off your shoes, take off your coat

Lend me your ears, sit next to me

I’ll tell you all about the sea

Fears - translation of the original poem by Yevgeny Evtushenko

In movement no. 4 (largo) of Shostakovich's Thirteenth Symphony, the chorus sings Yevgeny Yevtushenko's poem Fears. It is a powerful poem that looses a lot in translation.  Nonetheless, I took the liberty of making my own translation attempt:

Fears are vanishing now in Russia 
As the prodigal year's ghosts they thread
Here and there, at church steps remaining
Like old ladies begging for bread. 

I remember them in their power  
at the court of triumphant lies horde
Fears as shadows crept in to devour
Penetrating through every floorboard

Softly taming the citizens about
Fears set seal  upon everything: 
When silence was proper, they urged one to shout,

While keep quiet when needing to scream 

Nowadays, all of it has turned distant  
It is strange to remember before
Secret fear of one blowing the whistle 
Secret dread of a knock at the door. 

What of fear to speak with a foreigner?  
A foreigner’s one thing, but what about wife 
And what of unfounded fear after loud marches

When alone with the silence [that cuts like a knife]

We weren’t scared of building in the snowstorm 
Or of going into battle beneath falling shells

But at times we were mortally frightened 
Of just talking alone to ourselves. 

We were not knocked down or corrupted,

With good reason now Russia instills

Even greater fears in its rivals

Than the fears it once had to defeat

Now, enlightened, I reckon new fears:

Fear of being with nation uncouth

Fear of falsehood debasing ideas

That embody our very truth

Fear of praising oneself to madness
Fear of alien words repeated to crutch

Frightful doubt of disparaging others 
While trusting oneself way too much

Fears are vanishing now in Russia

As I write this, I’m hasty at slight

And I am writing with only one fear: 
Of not writing with all of my might. 



Yevtushenko and Nixon