miracles

JRS asked today:  "When was the last time you believed in miracles or magic?"  By that question, she referred to something beyond a sense of wonder and appreciation and more like the things we'd call acts of God.


I stopped believing in these types of miracles sometime around 12.  And this got me thinking, when will my daughter stop believing in these things.  She is only 8 and she just announced today that she is not sure she believes in the existence of Santa Claus because he does not make logical sense. How can one man be everywhere in the world at once? And why isn't he cold? 

Alice Ayers

"I don't want to lie. Can't tell the truth, so it's over."

It is hard to believe a woman is telling the truth when you would lie if you were in her place.  But if she were not to remember, or to tell half truth, she would still be telling a lie.  A lie could easily get her out of a tight spot, giving way to guilt and more lies. Each subsequent deviation from the truth will later be multiplied a hundredfold.

Yet, when the truth is told under duress, or with ill intent, it is worse than a lie she could invent.   And the most dangerous truth is a truth slightly distorted.  

So what is a girl to do when confronted? 

With lies she may get ahead, but she will never be able to go back.  

Heroine of Closer, Alice Ayers, handled this situation very well. When she could not tell a lie, she ended things before she told the truth.

something different

Lower your weapon

No need for pretense

When you come around

I shut down defense

Our bluntness' a cover

It is a harsh brew
So, let’s take it easy
Just me and you

Measured out verses

Only sound trite 
In silence of darkness

In safety of night


Let's try something different

Let's cast a new spell

There is no transmission

Full throttle to hell 

Your smile is disarming

Your frown is intense

Unstrap your weapon

Shut down my defense

ohos

He said:
- Your eyes were here before you
I said, “Go away, before I turn”
He said:
- Your eyes were here before you
Why you look so stern?

To Mike

Oy mate,

There’s nothing to undo

With nothing started

Why begin anew?

This world is turning

And all is churning

Careless

Like careless poison seeping through

Intoxicating every view

Like wine, it lit the heart with fire

Fueled by sparks of new desire

Giddy, drunk, and barely sane

Knees are shaking all the same

Buckled under, made me fall

Careless love that conquers all

All the wishes, all the prayers

All was here, so close today

Hours later, turned decay

Flushing acid through our veins

It died so fast, it did not feel

It did not cry and did not kneel

It drowned quickly like a stone

A pain too short to call our own

Wet as the blankets outside

Grief ordered hope to make a cry

A sad goodbye to a lost dream

Gone too quick to hear it scream

Ode to Morrissey

Plodding backwards over memories

Back to the place where I knew you

In the summer town
Filled with laughter and blue

deja vu

It was kind of like night, cold and slow
Except for the sound of melting snow

It was kind of like spring, soft and new
Except for the feeling of déjà vu

Silently threading through a path forgotten by men

Making way among the wild grasses and tree roots

Lost in the fog, with a basket of forest treasures

She grew weary with the passing of morning

And stopped for a picnic in the middle of time

A forest dream

Standing at the edge of a forest clearing

The sound of water dropping 

Deafens down a cliff beneath me

Suddenly a familiar voice 

Emerges from above
Urging calmly:

“Don’t be afraid. Let go.”

Unfaltering, I take off in flight

Soaring high towards the sun

Floating freely above the clouds

Not the wind, nor ashes of the past

Nothing can touch me as I float over the abyss

Hovering above the tree tops and the wild river

The earth paints a gay pattern of timeless squander

As I reach for the sun, my heart begins to thaw out 

Until the moon overtakes the sky cooling off the earth

The river calms and my wits return
While Venus watches with a lightning stare 

Bestowing desire on passing loveliness

The moon snakes down the stairs of time

Shedding silver flakes across the Milky Way

To guide my way towards new stars

My hipstamatic prints

I am getting addicted to the hipstamatic application on my i-phone. Here are some of the prints I took last weekend:









Lens: Lucifer VI
Film: Kodot Verichrome
Flash: Standard

The death of a bar fly

Come mammal cub crawling

Feel winter wind blowing

Through empty wasteland

                      as you slump

Bought another dress, girl

Had a laugh, made a twirl
Darling turned another chump

Watched Peter Pan flying

Felt little hope dying

Never been married

              Never missed

Quenched away angry thirst

Rolled away dirty hearse
Now on her grave stands a schist

Red eyed siren

Disturbed by angry pangs of pain

The eyes of green turned red again

She mourned the lack of proper name

But danced and plodded all the same

Cold morning caught her without grain

As angry wind deflected aim

Unburdened in the tears of shame

Grasshopper siren sang in vain









Painting by Jules-Joseph Lefebvre
The Grasshopper, National Gallery of Victoria, Australia