Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

Not every book is worth mentioning and not every author is worth quoting, but Viennese neurologist and psychiatrist Viktor Emile Frankl is a rare exception to both rules. Everyone should read his classic psychiatric text “Man's Search for Meaning.”  

Frankl begins this narrative with a moving personal account of a daily life in Auschwitz and other Nazi concentration camps, where he was imprisoned for approximately five years.  Despite the horrific conditions and daily struggle to survive, Frankl concentrated on philosophical observations of prison life, in which he found transcendence and reasons to continue living and refining one's attitude.

The second part of the book is dedicated to Frankl’s “life’s work” - psychotherapeutic method called "Logotherapy”.  Frankl developed "Logotherapy” as a result of his experiences in the Nazi camps and describes it as  a will to meaning as opposed to Adler's Nietzschean doctrine of will to power or Freud's will to pleasure. 

Frankl created Logotherapy as a way to engage people in perpetual and deliberate confrontation of existence.  In “Man's Search for Meaning,” Frankl presents his readers with an opportunity for choice to make life meaningful. When one’s life has no meaning, Frankls demonstrates that it becomes empty and leads to a certain "existential vacuum" - a state of inertia, the biggest symptom of which is boredom. 

In Frankl's view, our modern social situation helps foster boredom, which we fill with food, activities, work, sports, drugs, violence, but in the end remain unfulfilled.  His explanation for this existential vacuum is a decline in our animal instincts and traditions, such as religion, responsibility, family, and community and an increase in passive values such as conformity, pleasure seeking, obeying orders, and otherwise engaging in pursuits that are essentially unsatisfying.

Frankl further argues that our lack of meaning and responsibility leads to depression, aggression, addiction, and empty sexual promiscuity. As such, the goal of Logotherapy is to give people a perception of living for a higher purpose and assuming responsibility for one’s actions.  Frankl's imperative cannons of Logotherapy can by summed up as follows: 

On Choosing One's Attitude

“Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”

On Committing to Values and Goals

"Logotherapy...considers man as a being whose main concern consists in fulfilling a meaning and in actualizing values, rather than in the mere gratification and satisfaction of drives and instincts."

"What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him."

On Love

"Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true." 

On Suffering

"But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer." 

"In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice." 

"For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one’s predicament into a human achievement. “

On Happiness

"Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue." 

On Discovering the Meaning of Life

"The meaning of our existence is not invented by ourselves, but rather detected."


"What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general, but rather the specific meaning of a person's life at a given moment."

"We can discover this meaning in life in three different ways: (1) by doing a deed; (2) by experiencing a value; and (3) by suffering."

"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." 

On Fulfilling One's Task

"A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the "why" for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any "how."

“Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated, thus, everyone's task is unique as his specific opportunity to implement it.”

On Responsibility

"Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.”

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." 

"By declaring that man is responsible and must actualize the potential meaning of his life, I wish to stress that the true meaning of life is to be discovered in the world rather than within man or his own psyche, as though it were a closed system. I have termed this constitutive characteristic "the self-transcendence of human existence." It denotes the fact that being human always points, and is directed, to something or someone, other than oneself--be it a meaning to fulfill or another human being to encounter. The more one forgets himself--by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love--the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself. What is called self-actualization is not an attainable aim at all, for the simple reason that the more one would strive for it, the more he would miss it. In other words, self-actualization is possible only as a side-effect of self-transcendence." 

Source: Man’s Search for Menaing by Victor Emil Frankl

doors and windows

What it's like to be a lawyer

So, how can one judge the behavior of a man or predict the mechanisms of the human mind?

Often, I get asked about what I do at work and whether I knew I wanted to be a lawyer since I was young. The answer to the second questions is no. I struggled for a while with the decision of what I wanted to be. In fact, it was not until I got accepted into law school that I was sure I wanted to become a lawyer. The answer to the first question is a bit more complex.

Although most people understand that lawyers solve legal issues, many still don’t understand what a lawyer does on a day to day basis. Most folks think that being a lawyer is as exciting as the TV shows dealing with lawyers portray it. Many overlook the complexity, demands and mundane repetition of the legal job.

Moreover, there is no such thing as a "typical lawyer." Most lawyers are highly specialized professionals in a very narrow field. To name some of the more recognized specialists, there are prosecutors, criminal defense lawyers, family lawyers, personal injury or defective product litigation attorneys, trust and estate attorneys, business transactions specialists, tax lawyers, employment or labor law specialists, environmental lawyers, patent and trademark lawyers, and litigators. In other words, there are numerous highly specialized "professionals" within the profession of law.

Each attorney specialist handles different amounts of workload and clients. Each lawyer works in a very different environment from other lawyers and receives different levels of compensation. Most people mistakenly assume that all lawyers make a lot of money. That is not true. A typical salary of a graduating lawyer ranges from $50K to $100K a year, with the former being the norm. The quality of life of a lawyer depends greatly upon his or her specialty field and the hours of work he puts in.

Despite these differences, most lawyers also share some similarities. Whether an attorney is defending a lawsuit, preparing a will, negotiating a contract, litigating a lawsuit, or settling a divorce, he must always remain an advocate to the individual needs, desires, and goals of his client. Every attorney gives advice and counsel that impacts other people’s lives. This is why many attorneys put the words “attorney and counselor at law” on their business cards.

In addition, every lawyer must not only solve problems, but also convince others of the correctness of his analysis. Another thing a lawyer must do is be able to understand both sides of the coin and argue them with equal conviction. This ability enables attorneys to examine all possible alternatives with a client, to avoid difficult cases and prevent thorny situations.

Yet, many people wonder why they need a lawyer at all and try to do their own research on the internet. What they fail to understand is that, despite the availability of the information on the World Wide Web, the complexity of technological development has resulted in many very stringent laws, which prohibit or require following specific protocol and filing of specific documents, which a lay person will not be able to understand. Specific rules and procedure must necessarily be followed in order to comply with the requirements of the law. This is something a lay person cannot do without the assistance of a trained professional. Most people don’t operate on themselves and seek surgical intervention, but many people file lawsuits themselves and use forms to draft and file divorce pleadings.

As a litigation attorney, my responsibilities include representation of defendants in civil cases and managing all phases of the litigation process, from investigation, pleadings and discovery to pre-trial, trial, settlement and appeal. Sometimes I work on dozens of cases; at other times, on hundreds. I have worked on commercial disputes, contract disputes, family law cases, personal injury claims, medical malpractice cases, toxic tort cases, professional liability disputes, real estate transactions, employment issues, environmental coverage issues, securities litigation and many other types of case.

As you can imagine, each case is different and the science, technology and regulations behind each area involved in a dispute varies. As such, with each new case I have to become an expert not only in the area of the law, but also in the scientific evidence behind the cases. For example, in defending doctors, I had to learn a lot about medicine, which required using a medical dictionary, reading the labels and packaging of medications, and studying medical texts and journals. With each medical malpractice case, I learn about medical standards in a various areas of medicine in order to refute the allegations of medical malpractice. The areas of medicine ranged from psychiatric illness to cardiac arrest, so you can imagine the scope of information I consumed over the years in order to prepare each case for trial.

Despite the great amount of medical information I learned, I do not consider myself a medical expert and neither would you. Just because I know something about medicine does not mean that you would come to me asking for a cure to a physical ailment.

If, on the other hand, you are sued or threatened with a lawsuit, then I am your expert. In order to defend each lawsuit, I investigate all of my cases to determine what the facts are and what evidence exists for defending a lawsuit. After initial investigation, I prepare cases for either a settlement discussion or trial. Trial preparation entails drafting detailed pleadings and motions, exchanging relevant documents and information with opposing counsel, inspecting physical evidence and collecting information and research in order to file protective orders and summary judgment motions.

If cases get into pre-trial stage, I retain expert witnesses, conduct scientific and legal research, attend pre-trial conferences and develop a solid trial strategy based on the facts and evidence I uncovered. I must also attend and conduct depositions of experts and key witnesses, prepare trial exhibits, draft and argue pre-trial motions. Although the majority of the cases on which I work settle, some cases do go to trial. If they do, I stay up for days and work long hours presenting the case before the judge and or a jury, and then prepare for the next day in court. And sometimes I have to work on post-trial motions, preserving issues for appeal, developing appellate strategies and gathering evidence for the appellate record.

On top of this work, I have to continue taking legal education courses to keep abreast of the new statutes, rules, regulations, court decisions and the ever evolving ethical parameters of the Code of Professional Responsibility. As such, every attorney you meet will never stop learning and reading the law. The process of education never stops for an attorney and with each new area of specialty lawyers will learn new science behind very specific issues.

If you are thinking about a career in law, ask yourself if you are willing to put in the long hours, while thinking all day without taking a break. And then ask yourself if you are willing to do it for $50,000 because unless you graduate from an accredited law school with high honors, that's how much you will make your first year out of school, while paying for your student loans.

What separates lawyers from non lawyers is a special set of skills, which they continue to develop until they become proficient and competent in a particular area of law. One either thinks like a lawyer or does not.

The test designed to measure one’s analytical ability is called the LSAT. Any one can take it to see if law is something they could do, but not everyone will do well on this test. LSAT helps to determine one’s ability to identify, analyze and solve a problem – something a lawyer has to do on the regular basis. If you lack the necessary analytical skills, you will not be able to identify the potential legal issues or formulate a plan of action that suits the desires of your clients and meets the requirements of the law.

The practice of law requires constant attention, leaving no room for sloppiness or laziness. Being a lawyer requires a lot of tact, patience and perseverance, as well as the ability to speak and write in a clear and articulate manner. (Sometimes after working long hours, eloquence does not come easy outside of work.)

When people think of lawyers, they automatically think about money, but they never think about the sacrifices a lawyer has to make in order to maintain his or her practice. First and foremost, lawyers work with people, serve people, and help them. Despite their efforts, lawyers are highly under appreciated and nowadays underpaid. Being a lawyer is demanding, challenging, exhausting and stressful, but it is also exciting and meaningful. To me, it is most rewarding when I am able to solve my clients’ problems or to provide a benefit to people from my knowledge and advice.

The end of men or the end of future for professional men and women?

In a recent Atlantic Monthly article entitled "The End of Men -- How Women are Taking Control of Everything," Hanna Rosin applied some fresh statistics towards a projection that men have become obsolete. Although I found her observations interesting, I do not agree with her logic. Men have not become outdated; rather, women have become more powerful and demanding, resulting in a distorted societal vision of gender roles and confused female/male identity.

Specifically, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, women are taking over fifty percent of all professional jobs in the US. Specifically, they now hold 51.4 percent of managerial and professional jobs, make up 54 percent of accountants, and hold about 50 percent of all banking and insurance jobs. About thirty percent of US physicians are female and about 45 percent are associates in law firms. The only professions in which women continue to make up a minority of new worker are engineering and hard-science fields.

In the debris of the recession, three-quarters of the 8 million jobs lost were lost by men, with a majority of industries consisting of construction, manufacturing, and high finance. In the mean time, the jobs women used to do, like caring for the children, cooking, and cleaning have been replaced by other women of lower social economic standing. This economic elimination of men creates a larger percent of women in the work force, accelerating an economic shift away from jobs that require physical strength towards jobs requiring greater social intelligence, multitasking, and communication skills.

In addition, for every two men who get a college degree this year, three women will do the same. There are more female politicians and judges than ever before. And with biological advances, men are gradually becoming obsolete in child rearing, while more and more women decide to become single mothers.

With all these changes in the modern society, women are becoming better suited to succeed than men, resulting in an unprecedented role reversal. As women become better educated, more independent and powerful, they also become more confused about their identity, bending traditional gender roles and taking on masculine qualities such as strength, assertiveness, confidence, energy, determination, leadership and reason.

This should be exciting news for women, but in reality, women are becoming more frustrated with their inability to find a responsible male partner, while men find women more and more intimidating and unappealing. Women are starting to wear the pants and are suddenly realizing that they can do it all with or without a man. This results in women feeling entitled to a lot more than they used to in the past and men feeling emasculated.

As women become more educated, better traveled and more successful, their demands for a suitable mate escalate. Women don’t just want a manly man with a job, they want a tall, dark and handsome, fit, mature, well traveled and well educated man. They are still operating under the outdated stereotypes and expect a man to have a job that pays nearly double of what a well educated successful woman makes. But how can a young professional female meet a highly successful man, if according to the recent statistics, the only jobs in which well educated men will excel better than women will be in the engineering and hard-science fields? A female executive, banker, or doctor will always make more money than an engineer or a scientist.

Because of these outdated stereotypes, men who earn less than women begin to feel inferior and suffer from diminished self esteem issues. Some of them become bitter and take it out on women, while women become bitter about not being able to meet men who earn more than they do.

Some may wonder why financial security is so important to young professional women? Because most of them want to have children and having children is becoming more and more expensive. In fact, according to the recent article in Times magazine, many people opt out for only having one child simply because they cannot afford to have more than one. This leads young professional women to thinking as follows: "if I am to give up my career to making a child and taking care of it, my husband must be able to support us and our child, while maintaining the same standard of living we are accustomed to." And professional men and women are accustomed to a lot. They travel for work all over the country, sometimes world, on the company dollar. But when professional women give up their jobs, they still expect to travel, only they will not be able to afford it if their husbands' salaries will be smaller than theirs.

Thus, some professional women choose to stay single and continue traveling. Others settle for men with less money, but continue to work, while taking care of a child and a man. Eventually, they get tired and file for divorce because they don't feel like working to support a child and having to deal with a man child who cannot provide for the family.

This results in a surplus of professional women with great jobs and no men. These women think they can do it all, but in reality they are only human and can’t do everything on their own. So they hire maids, nannies, secretaries, while continuing to spend money on clothes for work, travel expenses, etc, all of which diminishes finances and either drives women to work harder or pushes them harder to search for a very rich husband, who also must be young, fit and attractive (which is completely unrealistic in the real world.)

So, where does this leave educated men, who make less money than their professional female friends? They do different things. Some adapt to unrealistic demands of professional women by pretending to have money. They go out and buy cars, toys and clothes that make them look like they have money, while investing little time in trying to meet the increasing expectations of successful women. (But most women can see through the façade and quickly figure out when men cover up their lack of financial security with flashy possessions.)

Other men date and marry girls who are less concerned about money or they marry pretty girls who are less educated than their professional friends. Then these couples move to the suburbs and have children. Or they live happily ever after inside the city without children because they cannot afford to have any. Only this does not always work. For instance, some men become bored with their undereducated wives and take on intellectual female lovers.

And, of course, there are plenty of men, who don't get married at all. Quite a few professional men with little money enjoy untroubled life of economic independence and sexual freedom, avoiding marriage and responsibility all together.

So, the problem with the rise of professional women lies not only with women being too demanding, but also with men being highly resistant to change. Many men find women who make more money than they do unappealing. And as they get rejected, these men become increasingly frustrated with their inability to offer women financial security while also retaining their masculinity.

In the mean time, men with money imagine that they can buy any woman that comes their way, regardless of the size of their scotch belly or the acne scars on their face. (This is not to say that all rich men fit this description). To make matters worse, older men preach to young girls that their only chance for happiness is to settle down with an older millionaire.

All the while, all men, old or young, tell women that they expect too much and should settle for less. Some women acquiesce and do settle for less, while many successful, intelligent and beautiful young women take on young, fit, and attractive lovers.

All of this, leaves professional men and women fewer chances of finding a mate. Hence there is a greater market of young professional singles, who remain single well into their thirties and sometimes forties.

Inevitably, the rise of women in power leads to a dystopian society filled with older men dating really hot dumb girls, male players who avoid marriage, male drones who suffer from insecurity issues, smart girls with young hot lovers, and a bunch of lonely female workers busy taking care of themselves and their young. Basically, fewer and fewer happily married people and more and more single young professionals. None of this looks encouraging.

All that said, with the end of something there is always a beginning of something new. So, the real problem is not the "end of men" as Rosin calls it, but the future of professional men and women in America.

The way I see it is as follows: everyone needs to readjust their expectations. Women need to do a reality check and accept the fact that they will not find a hot young rich husband, who makes more money than they do. Men should get used to the reality of making the same amount of money as professional women, while remaining secure about their masculinity by doing things men know how to do best and women don’t know how to do, like fixing things around the house, etc.

At the end of the day, success is not measured by the leadership positions men and women hold at work or by their unrealistic expectations, but by one’s ability to open their heart and adapt to the ever changing environment.

In this sink or swim world, only the fittest and most adaptable will make it ahead. That means that people should not only keep themselves physically fit, but should also become mentally, emotionally and spiritually stable. When competition becomes too cut throat, it is not due to accomplishments, but due to inability to open one's heart.

Sometimes, it is wiser to take a step back in order to move ahead with balance and grace.

The Picture of Dorian Gray - a very modern literary novel

Despite being written 120 years ago and being set in the19th century, The Picture of Dorian Gray is a very modern novel.  Today, it serves as an excellent reflection of our self-centered generation, obsessed with everlasting youth and beauty. Vanity as the original sin, hedonism as art, and art as a mirror are just a few of the themes explored by Oscar Wilde in his only novel.

The novel offers much more than retelling of the story of Faust selling his soul or Narcissus myth of youth and beauty. This form of literary novel brings forth the idea of leading a double life, a theme that is most interesting to intellectual and artistically inclined readers. The primary focus of this work is the complexity of relationships between art, beauty, youth, life, superficiality and sin.

Wilde invites his readers to consider the inevitability of vanity in their own association with art.  According to him, "it is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors."  Wilde explains that all art exists solely to communicate beauty, but is otherwise “useless."  As such, he warns against over thinking any artwork: "Those who go beneath the surface do so at their peril." At the same time, he agrees that the "only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely."